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Issue 345
23 October 2011
Updated Weekly

Pay pride

OLD BAG: This is an archive story from Issue 220 - 5 Nov 2007
John Arne Riise wageslip

Money shot

John Arn Riise

Riise: Obscene

Flash phone

Press 5 to go directly to your agent

Riise's wage packet breaches obsenity laws

Merseyside Police have swooped on Anfield following the publication of John Arne Riise's payslip on the internet last week.

The offending article surfaced on the internet, leading to Sports Minister Gerry Sutcliffe officially condemning the over-inflated wage advice as "obscene".

Exposed ring

Officers from the vice squad are confident they have exposed a ring of wage clerks producing this filth every month in Liverpool, Manchester, London and many other UK cities.

"The problem is far bigger than we first thought," a spokesperson for the Police told us. "Many dozens of publications just like this are coming out all the time, some involving teenage boys."

Don't knock it until you've tried it

Gordon Taylor, Chief Executive of the PFA, defending the offending article. "These concerns and reactions we've received are baffling in this day and age. If consenting clubs and players want to agree over-inflated contracts then they should be allowed to. From what I understand the payslip in question was very tastefully produced, and said more of the love between a club and a player than anything sordid."

Keep 'em peeled

Fans are being asked to remain vigilant for any suspicious activity involving players splashing around large sums of money, and to report any such actions to their nearest football messageboard.

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Also in Issue 220