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Issue 345
23 October 2011
Updated Weekly

Give me a break!

OLD BAG: This is an archive story from Issue 235 - 25 Feb 2008

Busst: made full recovery

Snap, crackle, pop...

Johnny Foreigner: no staying power

Not Mr Hoskins, we hasten to add

Far right: pleased with the tackle

Eduardo a softie says David Busst

Former Coventry City defender David Busst has blasted Arsenal's Croatian midfielder Eduardo, who broke a leg playing against Birmingham last weekend.

Break a leg

Busst famously (take your pick) snapped a leg playing against Manchester United in 1996. The injury was so severe his leg was nearly amputated.

"I saw Eduardo's injury and wasn't impressed. I hate to say it about fellow professionals but all these foreign players, they're always rolling around making out injuries are worse than they are. It's not good for the game. He might have a bruise or two tomorrow, but I am a real man who got a real man's injury."

Give us a clue

Since being invalided out of the game, twisted Busst has made a full recovery but continues to skulk around the dark catacombs beneath Old Trafford - the scene of his injury - playing an organ and plotting his revenge, or something.

The Onion Bag's intrepid reporter Larry Gak ventured below and asked the ex-defender, "Must have hurt, yes?" before running away scared.

Birmingham sicks

Busst has also come out in support of Birmingham defender and captain Martin Taylor, the man who scythed Eduardo down. "People say he shouldn't be allowed to play again. That's rubbish. He needs to get back in the game as soon as possible so he can do it again. These foreigners, bloody lightweights, aren't they?"

Nick Dogbolter, chairman of Foreigners Out!, a pressure group campaigning for the exclusion of all non-English players in the game, cheered, "It's Fackin' brilliant! One less to worry about!"

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Also in Issue 235