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Issue 345
23 October 2011
Updated Weekly

turf moor race war

OLD BAG: This is an archive story from Issue 301 - 8 Jun 2009

Turf Moor (Artist's impression)

Nick Griffin

BNP: Being racist so you don't have to

Kick It Out

Unambiguous statement

Political incorrectness goes mad in Burnley

The far right British National Party (BNP) want to make Burnley Football Club a white only zone.

I'm not racist but...

The good people of Burnley voted for a new BNP county counsellor and helped send a racist MEP to Brussels. The jubilant Nazis are looking to flex their new political muscle and spend that EU money they are now entitled to for policy research and have targeted their local football club. They want the newly promoted Premier League clubs to change their ticketing policy at Turf Moor and exclude any supporter of non-Caucasian extraction.

Whites for rights

BNP activists feel the club needs to become more relevant to their community. "The people of Burnley are not racists," mumbled party spokes(white)man Trevor Tebbit "but they have given us a mandate to be racist for them. The local football club should reflect that."

The proposal is to introduce white only zones at the ground. Non-whites will still be permitted to attend matches and will be allocated a section of the stadium (somewhere near the back). "The club should not turn away its non white fan base," Tebbit insisted "In fact we think they should be allowed to play jungle drums and practice juju in their comfort of their fenced off enclosure."

I mean rights for Whites

Burnley fan and BNP activist Nik Dogbolter welcomed the news. "At last a bit of common sense and a vital blow for the rights of the indigenous peoples of Burnley. We long for the day when we are free to express our whiteness without having to look over our shoulder to see if there is a paki nearby"

The Premier League have chosen not to get involved and released a brief statement saying that the issue was "Not commercially viable enough to be arsed with. Besides, we don't want to get beaten up by angry Nazis."

Send the buggers back

Under the scheme, the BNP propose that members of ethnic minorities who currently hold season tickets in the White Zone will be offered £1000 to hand their tickets back and go home.

So far the club have refused to comment but they have denied that from next season the team's walk on music will change to "Tomorrow Belongs To Me".

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Also in Issue 301