With no home nation interest in this summer's European Championships how is your average armchair fan going to know where his or her loyalties should lie. Well fear not, The Onion Bag has jumped to the rescue with its very own match-making kit to discover which broad, uninformed national stereotype most suits your own narrow world-view and deep seated prejudices.

Before you know it, you'll be getting drunk, trashing shop-fronts and turning over German cars as though England themselves were getting knocked out on penalties... unless of course you pick Germany.