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Issue 345
23 October 2011
Updated Weekly

pearce: i need two jobs to fund TV show

OLD BAG: This is an archive story from Issue 180 - 29 Jan 2007
Stuart Pearce

Pearce: Planning his next move

Shaun Williamson

Barry from Eastenders: Tough and uncompromising

Linda Lusardi

Lusardi: Must stay at least 100 yards away from

Psycho cop show hinges on City

Stuart Pearce has admitted that he needs the money from the England Under 21 managers job to pay for a new 70's style cop show.

Right people right time

The Man City boss, nick-named Psycho for his tough and uncompromising style as a player, has developed an idea for a hard-hitting cop show called Psycho Squad. He plans to cash in on the revival of the genre with hit show Life On Mars and The Sweeney's old stable mate Minder which is to be remade and updated for the Noughties.

"Granada Television have given me the green light to develop a pilot episode but I need money to set up a production company" Pearce told The Onion Bag's Entertainment Correspondent Hamble Litewait. "Managing City, and the best England youngsters should drum up enough cash to book some studio time and maybe a few actors."

Hazell Nuts

Pearce hopes to team up with the England senior squad's assistant coach Terry Venables who, himself is co-creator of hit Thames TV cop show Hazell. "Terry's waiting to see what package I can offer him but I think he's on board." said Pearce "Together we can take English football and the TV cop show genre by storm with fast cars, loose women, dodgy geezers and foul language."

The cast has yet to be decided but former Eastenders start Shaun Williamson is rumoured to play the part of the tough talking Inspector Frank Humpit with Hollyoaks star Darren "OB" Jeffries as his gormless assistant. Former Page 3 model and soon to be Emmerdale actress Linda Lusardi will be on hand to add some glamour.

Rainy night in Georgia

"It promises to be an exciting thrill packed series" says Pearce. "All we need is the go ahead from the club" Man City chairman John Wardle was unavailable for comment. He is working on a musical version ex-City star George Kinkladze's debut novel The Attacking Midfielder's Fear Of The Holding Role. Brian May has already been seen sniffing around Eastlands.

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Also in Issue 180